Alignment with Purpose: What do You Want?

Something clicked with me last night, something that has been giving me hell for many years. And it boils down to one question:

What do I want?

I think a lot of people fear this question. And when it’s not answered clearly, we put a lot of effort into avoidance. Avoidance (or resistance): laziness, procrastination, addictions, self-sabotage…

Case in point, me:

I’ve been trying for years to be a successful myofascial release therapist, a good husband, and now a father. Trying to earn enough to support everything, have a good life, go on vacations… In some of those areas I’ve been doing okay, and others, not so much. It has been hell for me to market, to get up the nerve to go talk to people, to tell them that I can help. I have spent countless hours, nearly every waking moment (and some sleeping) trying to get myself to do marketing. And I just can’t, or barely.

I didn’t realize it until last night, but this also has been showing up in keeping house, in doing all of the things that help home run well. Budgeting, cleaning, organizing…

Avoidance, resistance… Whenever I try to deal with these things, I get annoyed, frustrated, lazy, distracted. Why? That was the missing piece.

I’ve been poking around with this piece for a few weeks now, what’s my belief about doing these things? Oh, I won’t have fun if I have to work so hard, I won’t have time for me, I need to play so that I can have a clear head to work, but with two young kids, a sick wife, and trying to earn money, I don’t have time for all that… I’ve been stuck between a rock and a hard place: work hard and get everything done but have no fun, or skip the work, have fun, and be frustrated with not ever getting enough done. Like so many times before in my life, I had to find the missing third option.

That third option, the missing piece?

Alignment with purpose. What do I want?

It suddenly struck me, in the midst of a stressful, burned out, sick and scary situation: there is no need for me to spend one moment doing anything that I don’t want to do. Not one moment. And if I want to do it, then why not enjoy it? There’s a belief going around in our culture that certain things heal and certain things hurt. But that’s not entirely true…it really matters how and why you do them. Take a walk, helpful or hurtful? It depends. Go to work, helpful or hurtful? Again, it depends.

What if I only do work (the things I avoid) in a helpful, enjoyable, healing way or I don’t do them at all?

What if I only do things that are in alignment with what I want?

My purpose (what I want on a very deep level to the best I’ve understood it so far) is to heal and to help others heal too. And doing that includes doing the dishes, balancing the budget, and even marketing my services.

It seems my work and my play have become one and the same.

I was going to end right there, but that’s a bit of a sudden drop. What does this mean for you? Should I invite you to come work with me? Can I explain the point of life, the universe, and everything?

I don’t know how to answer those questions, and I can’t seem to take the advice of marketing experts who tell me how best to connect with people who need what I can do. (I’ve been resisting it…) So let me end with this:

Hi, my name is Michael Sudbury, I have been stuck, depressed, and tormented by my beliefs for decades. For nearly as long, I have been working my way out of my own personal hell, slowly and rarely surely. The physical pains and issues have been a distant second, but they have not been easy either. I’d likely be hobbling around with severe headaches and back pain, unable to use my wrist if I hadn’t gotten involved in myofascial release. I’ve learned a few things, I may even have gained some wisdom. I help people heal, recovering function, strength, ease and comfort, even joy. Would you like my help? Please feel free to contact me. Or just get right to it and schedule with me.