What Are You Feeling?
Sometimes in life, you hurt. It’s unavoidable, try as you might. But have you found that sometimes, some things keep hurting? Sometimes they get worse as you go. Is it old age? Or genetics? Is it somehow just your lot in life?
Why does your back hurt so often? Why does it “go out” on you? How about your wrist, shoulder, or neck—why are they painful, sore, tight, or kinked?
How come your hips or knees are wearing out and headed for (another) surgery?
Or that chronic muscle pain and fatigue? What’s up with that?
And why haven’t all the things you’ve tried worked to fix it?
Well, have you considered that your body isn’t a machine to be fixed or have a part simply swapped out?
How You Approach Things Matters
It’s amazing, the number of people I hear who seem to want their body to, “just behave,” but who give no thought to what their body is telling them about what it needs in order to perform.
Or, who keep hoping their body will feel and do better this time, though they are still asking it to do the same thing, in the same way, with the same lack of good support, alignment, or conditions. Somehow these people are surprised, but not really, when they get the same painful result.
It’s not really your fault that this has been your approach, it’s what society has conditioned you to do. It’s what your earlier experience in life has taught you works well enough. When you get an “owie,” you stick a bandage on it and wait for it to feel better. Which it does in just a little bit. Your body is great at self-repair and that’s almost all the effort you have to put into it.
So what’s changed?
Why Do Things Not Get Better?
Well, some things hurt a bit worse. Some things are harder to heal from than others. The deeper, bigger, and scarier the injury or incident, the more overwhelming it was, the easier it is to let good enough be good enough as you try to get on with your life.
What does that have to do with your knee, hip, back, or neck?
Only this: Throughout your life, injuries, events, and stresses have built up. Not all of them are thoroughly resolved and done with. Do I mean physically, in your body, or emotionally and mentally? Yes. Yes I do.
This built up, unresolved, “stuff,” means ongoing stress and damage is happening in your body. Every single day.
This is why it’s no longer good enough to stick a bandage on it and wait for it to feel better. Your body is good at self-healing, but it can’t keep up with daily, recurring damage forever. You will eventually fall behind in the repairs.
Address Where Things Have Gotten Stuck
This article is not about the specifics of how that happens, or the patterns of breakdown and pain that are caused. That’s another topic.
The more important thing to understand here is this:
If you want to stop hurting, you need to address where your body, mind, and emotions have gotten stuck.
Or in other words, the pain, where you hurt, what’s breaking down, etc., this is not the problem spot. The pain doesn’t need to be fixed. What you feel doesn’t need to be fixed.
The pain that doesn’t go away, the feeling that you keep coming back to, they are not the problem.
They are the signal that guides you to whatever it is that needs attention.
The thing that needs attention seems to always be something that has gotten stuck. It isn’t moving well for one reason or another. In the mind, it’s a realization you refuse to have or an admission you will not admit. In the emotions, it’s an emotion you try to deny that it even exists no matter that it’s the thing you keep coming back to. Or it’s the emotion you refuse to let go of. In the body, it’s something that has become solidified, rigid, and glued. It literally can no longer move like it ought to.
Stuck. Unmoving. In mind, emotion, or body.
Actually, I don’t think it’s accurate to split those three apart. You are a whole being. If something is stuck, there will be some element of that in mind, emotion, and body.
How To Tell When Something Is Stuck
When something is stuck, there will be a pattern of repetitive, avoidant behavior. There will be a thing you don’t move through, can’t or won’t feel, or can’t or won’t admit.
This unconscious avoidance sets up repetitive loops and compensatory patterns. We are familiar with this when it comes to psychological effects. People will be:
- Aggressive and disagreeable or passive and submissive
- Self aggrandizing or self effacing
They’ll blame others for their situation while they pretend powerlessness and inability to effect any meaningful change themselves. They’ll be full of either:
- Doubt and hesitation, with no ability to decide
- Or over-certainty, plowing ahead, with no ability to introspect and course correct
Physically, this shows up as someone constantly walks and moves in less than ideal patterns. (Meaning stressful and damaging.) They are avoiding moving the thing or area that is stuck. Actually, they don’t even remember, let alone notice, that the thing or area is rigid.
They don’t notice it, but what they are doing, how they are moving, is causing ongoing, daily damage and stress. This has overwhelmed their body and its ability to heal. They are breaking down under the weight of the thing they no longer notice.
Again, specific examples of this are for another time. Right now, the point to be grasped is this:
If you want to feel better, you have to get better at feeling. (and admitting what you feel.)
When It’s Time To Get In Touch
What you feel is not something to be fixed. It’s the signal that guides you to that which needs attention.
If you are feeling stuck, want to feel better, but need some help getting better at feeling, we would love to chat.